Quick! To The Panic Room!

A Mother's Quest for Peace and Quiet

The Panic Room!

Where is this Room, you ask?

Located in the Family’s home (before they decided to renovate it – 2009),the Panic Room was the Adults only means of Escape.

This Room was conveniently located off the kitchen, by itself, at the back of the house.

It had no windows and dark wood panelling (circa 1960). It had no overhead light, only a small lamp next to the comfy, queen-sized bed.

Once inside, one did not know what time of day it was. One might not even be able to guess the year.

“I’m going to the Panic Room,” Man would often yell above the sounds of vacuuming, wailing and whining. He was the first to name it, and then claim it, as his own private escape.

Man would go in there for hours, only to be seen sneaking out to grab a bag of Tostitos and salsa. (The Panic Room also had Cable TV).

Me didn’t get wise to the idea that she too could go to The Panic Room until she was ordered there by Man.

You see, Me had gone many nights without sleep since neither Mini-Me nor Caveman really did the “Sleep Thing” or saw a need for Me to do it either.

After throwing a can of green beans at Man and yelling, “You just aren’t LISTENING TO ME!” Man told Me she needed a “Time Out” and sent her to The Panic Room.

And that’s when Me realized that “Time out” is a wonderful invention she had not used on herself before. Finally, she could read all those Self-Help and Parenting Books to solve her problems. Every speech delay therapy, cure for disorganization, and remedy for her children’s general unwillingness to obey her could be found in a book (purchased online from the computer found in The Panic Room).

Going to The Panic Room was the equivilant of reaching Nirvana.



  1. Quick! Write more posts!!!!

    Comment by Enzo | December 19, 2009 | Reply

  2. Really great! I chuckled and got some great insight from you. I want to get that organization book! Sounds awesome and very practical. Panic room–love the name!

    Comment by Jan Jones | January 12, 2010 | Reply

  3. sheer genius! am putting: “build self a soundproof/childproof panic room of my own” on my to-do list asap

    Comment by c | January 19, 2010 | Reply

  4. ps. keep writing!!!

    Comment by c | January 19, 2010 | Reply

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