Quick! To The Panic Room!

A Mother's Quest for Peace and Quiet

So, I’m Now Officially Fred Flintstone

So, I’m Now Officially Fred Flintstone.

June 4, 2013 Posted by | Husbands, marriage | , , , | Leave a comment

So I Read This Book Yesterday…

So I Read This Book Yesterday….

June 4, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , | Leave a comment

Volunteer of the Month-In My Dreams…

This week is going to be crazy. And I’m deliriously happy.

I think it’s because being super busy gives me an excuse for not doing the boring stuff in my life.

For example, there is a pile of laundry that needs to go in the wash and I am just too busy to do it. If Mini-Man has to wear shorts to school and its 36 degrees, oh well.

And my car is full of empty Chick-Fil-A kids meal boxes and half-empty sippy cups. It needs to be cleaned but when will I find the time?

You see, I have offered to help at my children’s school, and that is far more important.

More important to me, that is.

For one, Caveman will have to go to the babysitter and his sitter is AWESOME. She’s working on potty training and I am ready to leave that one to her. She’s obviously a pro because Caveman makes less mess in the bathroom than anyone else in The Family. And he is very cute when he excitedly says, “Flush!” at the end of the process.

And, I know at school I will actually get a “thank you” for helping. I will feel appreciated. And I’ll get to talk to the teachers and they are ADULTS. I mean the real deal, not just a bagger or check-out person at Harris Teeter.

Now, Mini-Man is less enthusiastic about my being a super volunteer…

Me: “I’m going to help your class create a newspaper. I’ll be at your school on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

Mini-Man: “No…No!No!No! You have to tell them you can’t. You are too embarrassing, Mom!”

Me: “Well, too bad because they need help and I’m helping.”

Mini-Man: “Okay, help, but don’t say anything like ‘you all’ or ‘okay folks’ or anything. In fact, you may not talk at all. And you definitely can not give homework. They will hunt me down and kill me if you do.

Me: “Well, I’m going to have to talk. But I think we can get the work done during class time.”

At that point Mini-Me interrupts the conversation. Normally, Mini-Me gets told she has GOT to work on her manners. However, this interruption is welcomed.

Mini-Me: “You’re coming to school? Yeah! What are you going to wear? I like it when you have your hair down long and NOT in a ponytail.”

Mini-Me is remembering the times when my hair is actually washed and brushed. She likes Me like this.

Me: “Well, I’ll do what I can. You can help me.”

Mini-Me is thrilled with this idea and starts jumping around.

It’s then that I realize she will probably have Me wearing either my yoga pants with high heeled boots or one of my old bridesmaid’s dresses, depending on the image she wants me to portray (that is, either Cool Mom or Really Glamorous Mom).

But I’m okay with all this. I’ll let her design an outfit for me.

Because this week I am just too busy, and I just don’t have time for that sort of thing.


January 23, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , | 5 Comments

So, I’m Now Officially Fred Flintstone

I forgot my anniversary. It’s today. My husband knows I forgot. (Big sigh).

Here’s how I found out…

Man: (smiling) “So, tomorrow’s a big day.”

Me: (frowning) “Yeah, I can’t believe you have an early-morning meeting. You have GOT to plan better. Now I have to get all three kids to school and I said I’d bring Caveman in early so the teacher could help get him into school.” (Caveman becomes absolutely primal when he has to go to school. Thrashing, biting, pulling hair-it’s ugly.)

Man: “What else is going on tomorrow.”

Me: “I don’t know. I need to get Mini-Man a haircut. He is starting to look like those scary guys who sit outside RiteAid. And, I think I have to conference with his teacher. Why? What else is up?”

And then it dawned on Me.

Me: “I can’t believe I forgot our anniversary. I’m sorry. I’m just preoccupied. We should NEVER have gotten married in January. (Of course it was Me who insisted on the month and day). It’s too hard to remember with so much going on.”

Man: “It’s okay.”

Now Man and Me do not usually do full-on celebrations of anniversaries. Cards are exchanged. We go to dinner. No gifts.

But of course, this year HAD to be the year Man went all out.

During the bedtime routine, Man tucked an envelope under Me’s pillow.

Me: “Aaww, how cute. Should I wait til tomorrow? No, forget that. I want to see it now.”

Inside the envelope was a sweet card. Not like the usual ones Man gives that are funny but full of innuendo. And the message Man wrote inside went way beyond the standard,” I love you and I’m glad you still put up with me.”

Me: (reading aloud) ” Pack your bags for an overnight trip with target departure on Friday at 4pm.”

Now most wives would be brought to tears because of this considerate gesture. Me was brought to tears, but for different reasons.

Me: “I can’t believe you did this. Now I feel horrible. I forgot our anniversary. I am the worst. I am sooo lame.”

After much reassurance that Man is okay with being forgotten, I fell asleep… Only to be awakened a few hours later by Mini-Me who had awoken from one of her bad dreams.

I don’t even ask Mini-Me about her dreams anymore. The last one she described involved characters from iCarly and was extremely complicated.

I now just put Mini-Me back to bed and hope someday The Family will all get some sleep.

And maybe I’ll even start remembering the important events in my life. Don’t count on it, but I’ll keep you posted…

January 13, 2010 Posted by | family, kids, marriage, parenting, parenting exceptional children | , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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