Quick! To The Panic Room!

A Mother's Quest for Peace and Quiet

My Competitive Streak

Okay, I admit it. I like to win. I like to be the best.

And so does Mini-Me.

I thought I needed to take my daughter ice skating so that we could bond. You see, Mini-Me had been getting on my nerves and I needed to show her I can hang out without scolding her.

Ice skating was not the answer.

In this freezing, dimly-lit cage of a place, crazy pre-pubescent boys in hockey helmets went whizzing by. “You Spin Me Round” by The Chipmunks blared and disco lights flashed over the fake ice.

Mini-Me was in heaven.

Me, on the other hand, was not enjoying the scene.  Keeping an eye on Mini-Me as she tried to dance, jump, and spin “round, round, like a record, baby” was enough to cause a complete freak-out in Me.

Me: “You are spazzing. You are gonna knock your skull on the ice. Calm down, and slow down. I do NOT feel like going to the Emergency Room today.”

Mini-Me: “Watch this!”

Me: “YOU have GOT to be CAREFUL!  You have only skated once, maybe twice before. You do not know how to do these tricks.

Mini-Me: “Do you think I’m better than you?”

Now, here you would think I would want to encourage my child and say something nice like, “You are a wonderful skater.” After all, I am an adult.

Instead…

Me: (with smug smile) “I think I’ve been skating longer than you, honey. I’m better.”

Mini-Me: “No. I mean when you were my age. I would be better than you, right?”

Me: (slight pause) “So, what you are asking is if we went back in time to when I was your age, would you be a better skater.”

Mini-Me: ” Yes. I think I would be. Watch what I can do.”

And at that moment Mini-Me totally rocked out. Throwing her head back, she began singing and using wild whole body gestures to the song, “Boom, Boom, Pow,” as she moved dangerously through the skate crowd.

I think she thought she really was back in my day, at my ice skating rink. And we were having an ice skating dance off.  Mini-Me was in her own rock-n-roll fantasy.

And then she rocked right into the wall.

Me: (awkwardly scurrying to the side wall) “Oh my gosh. Where are you hurt?”

Mini-Me: (big tears in eyes and fake ice all over her backside) “I-I-I’m okay. My arm just hu-hu-hurts.”

The time warp was over.  I was back to my proper mother self. I pulled Mini-Me up and gave her a big squeeze.

Mini-Me: “So, you think you could have done that when you were my age?”

Me: “Not in a million years.”

We went home and both took children’s pain medication. I told everyone how awesome Mini-Me was at skating and how I couldn’t believe she did so well without ever taking a lesson.

I let her be the best. She was the star.

Before going to bed, Man had to get a full recap of our adventure.

Man: “She’s pretty coordinated. I’m not surprised she did well.”

Me: “Yeah. She did…But, I can skate backwards.

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January 19, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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